Do Hard Things: Establishing Self-Care
It’s still the beginning of a new year. Maybe you’ve squared away some resolutions or goals by now, maybe you’ve been staying the course, or maybe you’re already feeling discouraged. Stop where you’re at and take a deep breath. The most important thing any of us can do for ourselves (especially after 2020) is to establish a self-care routine. When we make a habit of taking care of ourselves in small and big ways, we are better for it in all areas of life: work, parenting, relationships, creativity, etc.
Take a look over your answers to the last few emails and then write down the answers to the following questions on a sticky note- place it on your bathroom mirror, fridge or coffee maker, or your steering wheel for a reminder until your habits become routine.
What is one way you can take care of your mind each day?
What is one way you can take care of your body each day?
Choose one day a week and set aside 1-2 hours (or more) when you can prioritize yourself with no distractions or obligations.
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Name: Aubrey Moer
Age: 35
Vocation / Occupation: Registered Nurse ICU
How do you take care of yourself?
Although 2020 was a crummy year, it was also a year of learning to take care of myself. For someone who is type A and who thrives on routine, covid through a big wrench in all my plans. But, it also made me come up
with new ways to find “me” time, and it also made me realize how important my health is- not just physical, but mental health as well. I make it a point to go outside for ATLEAST 30 minutes a day. Bare minimum,
even if it’s cold…to go outside and breathe fresh air. The more foods I eat from the ground or nature, the better I feel as well. It’s amazing to me, the older I get, how food affects EVERYthing. How I feel, how I sleep, how I function.
I’m also trying really hard to do less in front of a screen- phone and TV. Something I love doing now is when I’m home alone without kids, I listen to “relaxing music or mediation music” instead of having the TV on in the background. It keeps anxiety/overstimulation levels way down.
What needs of yours do prioritize to make sure you are the best version of yourself and you can serve your family and friends best?
Exercising before my kids wake up is HUGE for me. As much as I dread my alarm clock daily, if I don’t get up, get going and get my workout in before my kids get up…it shows. I feel it in my mood and my kids and husband feel it. Spending time with God, in silence is something I have to do as well. Unrushed- uninterrupted. I also try my hardest to get enough sleep. When I don’t, it also shows- ALL day.
What fills my cup? Honestly, quality alone time with my husband, spending time with my amazing family, and adult time with my girlfriends. The older I get, the harder it becomes to spend time with friends, but when I make time for it, I never regret it. Girlfriend time (sans kids) is what fills my cup up.
Can you give us a quick peek into your normal day? When do you wake up? Do you have a set routine? What are non-negotiable’s for you and your health throughout the day?
5 am alarm every weekday. If I work- it’s 4 am. I have found that if I DO NOT work out before work, I’m more tired and my patience runs thin more quickly. I take my oldest to school first, then the youngest to daycare. Everyday. I used to make myself feel guilty for taking them to daycare every day even though I only work two days a week, but I became a better mom when I had time without them during the day. I looked forward to picking them up, and we had more quality time together in the evenings. On the weekends I don’t set an alarm unless I need to. I CRAVE routine. I feel out of control when the routine gets interrupted (a flaw of mine) non-negotiables are exercise 5 days a week, vitamin d every day, and adult time at the end of the day. (no kids in my bed-----ever!) ha.
What are resources (books, Instagram accounts, workshops, podcasts) that have helped you be in the place you are today concerning your physical and mental health?
Honestly, I’m on a quest to put my phone down more. I don’t follow blogs or podcasts. If I knew of good ones, I might. But, “Jesus calling” speaks to me daily. As much as I hate this answer, my physical health has been influenced by Beachbody on demand. It’s where I do my workouts. It keeps me motivated and challenged. The biggest help for me was finding accountability partners. People to “check-in” with daily. I have two friends who I text “post-workout pics” to daily. Also, meal pictures as well. They keep me motivated and on track, but also give me grace when I slip. Because a glass or two of wine in the evenings happens a lot.
What are you most excited about right now?
My husband coming home in 1 week. I still count down the days until he comes home. And this has been our life for as long as I can remember. I miss adult interaction after a while of it just being me and the girls. I’m excited for the NEW year. As much as I hate when Christmas is over, and the holidays, I also get so excited about a “clean slate”
What personal habit are you most proud of?
That I’ve been consistently exercising 5 days a week since May 2020, and that I can drink over a gallon of water a day.
Name: Dacy Hamshire
Age: 27
Vocation / Occupation: SAHM and a hip wife
How do you take care of yourself?
I currently have taken the time to take a 6-week course in pottery. I also am in two women’s bible studies. During the holidays though, I don’t think I did a good job of even acknowledging “myself”, but I am trying to get back into a good rhythm where I care for my own personal space and time.
WHAT NEEDS OF YOURS DO PRIORITIZE TO MAKE SURE YOU ARE THE BEST VERSION OF YOURSELF AND YOU CAN SERVE YOUR FAMILY AND FRIENDS BEST?
I try to prioritize having some alone time or time with other adults. I enjoy my toddler, but getting that time to myself without consistently catering to someone else’s needs helps me reset. Also, getting the social interaction with other adults helps me feel like myself or even find myself a bit more as an individual. But honestly, I don’t do well with this. I am trying to be better though. And I think that is okay for now.
CAN YOU GIVE US A QUICK PEEK INTO YOUR NORMAL DAY? WHEN DO YOU WAKE UP? DO YOU HAVE A SET ROUTINE? WHAT ARE NON-NEGOTIABLE’S FOR YOU AND YOUR HEALTH THROUGHOUT THE DAY?
I wake up whenever my toddler wakes up. We are blessed that she is a good sleeper so we are up around 8. Prior to me becoming pregnant, my routine was getting her fed, getting some type of workout in (this is necessary for me to feel more calm and patient throughout the day), sharing a shake with my toddler, she gets some playtime/learning time, then she gets TV time and snack before her nap (I shower during her nap, normally), I eat lunch and wait until she wakes up, then she is up, she eats lunch, we get outside ( usually go to a park, hike or the children’s museum), come back home, have chill time and wait for husband to be off work, cook dinner while he entertains the toddler, we hang out as a family, then get ready for bath and bed! Long story short, my day works around whatever the little one needs. Now that I am pregnant, I just do my best to make sure we are all surviving and try not to throw up cause I am nauseous all day.
WHAT ARE RESOURCES (BOOKS, INSTAGRAM ACCOUNTS, WORKSHOPS, PODCASTS) THAT HAVE HELPED YOU BE IN THE PLACE YOU ARE TODAY CONCERNING YOUR PHYSICAL AND MENTAL HEALTH?
Oh man. Get Out of Your Head study by Jennie Allen worked wonders for my mind spirals. Music from Mozart in the Jungle helps clear my mind as well. Ramble insta is pretty great and their ramble boxes! :)
WHAT ARE YOU MOST EXCITED ABOUT RIGHT NOW?
Having twins(excited and nervous) and taking pottery classes
WHAT PERSONAL HABIT ARE YOU MOST PROUD OF?
Seeing things from different perspectives and putting myself in someone else’s shoes. I also am positive—which is a blessing and a curse.
Name: Kathryn Hager
Age: 35
Vocation / Occupation: Wife, Mom, Co-owner of Ramble & Co.
HOW DO YOU TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF?
First, I don't speak to myself in a negative way. I truly believe I'm doing my best. And Second, commit to being aware and not checking out when things get hard.
WHAT NEEDS OF YOURS DO PRIORITIZE TO MAKE SURE YOU ARE THE BEST VERSION OF YOURSELF AND YOU CAN SERVE YOUR FAMILY AND FRIENDS BEST?
Something that I started in the summer of 2019 (after breakdown) was pick up running again. But this time it wasn't for physical appearance to look like ___. I connected enough dots to realize that I was a healthier and happier person when I ran or walked at least 5 days a week. This daily act is something I don't push to the side on busy workdays. I carve out time on family days and don't feel guilty about it. This means going to work without showering and looking like a hot mess but...it's now a non-negotiable because I am more patient mother and happier wife when I get outside, put air in my lungs, and challenging my body. Also, being spontaneous monthly. this could be a quick day trip, camping solo with the kids when the weather is nice, or surprising a friend with coffee.
CAN YOU GIVE US A QUICK PEEK INTO YOUR NORMAL DAY? WHEN DO YOU WAKE UP? DO YOU HAVE A SET ROUTINE? WHAT ARE NON-NEGOTIABLE’S FOR YOU AND YOUR HEALTH THROUGHOUT THE DAY?
I try to wake up around 5:30 in the morning to sip a coffee while checking email or sitting in silence praying. Our kids wake up around 6:30 and we are out of the door to get them to school by 7:15. After drop off, I go for a run then off to work. I try to bring my lunch and not eat out during the week or limit to one day a week because life.... This is important for me and how I try to take care of my body. Then school pick-up, dinner which I normally cook, and then after the kids go to bed I like to enjoy a glass of wine and then try to answer dm's for a short bit so that Ryan and I can spend time together. The goal is to not carry my phone with me around the house but sit it on the counter and try not to pick-up when I'm home. This part of the day is pretty strict. If I don't run in the morning (because of the temperature) I will run before school pick up but it's always harder. Our days have a loose routine after I get the kids. I like to take the kids to do something spontaneous and adventurous a day or two of the week after school. I start getting overwhelmed when we do the same thing every single day.
WHAT ARE RESOURCES (BOOKS, INSTAGRAM ACCOUNTS, WORKSHOPS, PODCASTS) THAT HAVE HELPED YOU BE IN THE PLACE YOU ARE TODAY CONCERNING YOUR PHYSICAL AND MENTAL HEALTH?
Automic Habits is a great book that I've mentioned before. It got me thinking about how important habits are and how easily we can form them if we are aware. I don't have a specific Instagram account I follow regularly enough but there are a few accounts that talk about wellness and counting macros and while I don't do it strictly I am more conscious of foods that fuel my body and foods that I don't need as much of to have good energy. I've never been on a diet. I believe that everything in moderation is key and now with a little more knowledge on foods I feel like it's easier for me to plan and maintain a healthy day-to-day life. The other major resource I've dove into over the last 18 months is learning about the enneagram. It was the first start to becoming more self-aware and has given me the language and tools to understand why I react a certain way and how I intake the world around me. I'm a 7, (enthusiast) and have learned so much. A favorite podcast to listen to weekly is Typology.
WHAT ARE YOU MOST EXCITED ABOUT RIGHT NOW?
A new year, warmer weather, a fresh bed of seeds that will be planted soon, and a trip to Big Bend National Park.
WHAT PERSONAL HABIT ARE YOU MOST PROUD OF?
Running. I've always ran, but for the wrong reasons. 18 months ago I made a promise to myself to run for my mental health always and I've not said no to myself since. I want to add this; I think it’s extremely important to loosen up. have fun. let the worries go. Be present, no phone, and soak up people around you.
It’s my deepest hope that these examples help spark ideas on how you can incorporate self care into your routine. If you are not signed up to get our emails for the Do Hard Things Group please sign up here! Free resources sent directly to you! Click here!
